Effects of Childhood Trauma On Adult Relationships
Experiencing any type of trauma as a child can impact your adult life in a variety of ways. It can change the way you view friendships, family members, and even your career. There can even be lasting effects of childhood trauma that interfere with adult relationships. Even if you haven’t thought about the trauma for years, experiencing something like that as a child sticks with you, whether you realize it or not.
As an adult, it’s not only important to realize it but to face it in trauma therapy. If you tend to struggle in relationships and aren’t sure why then it could stem back to something you experienced as a child. Knowing the effects of childhood trauma on your adult relationships will make it easier to see those signs and finally work through those issues.
So, how can childhood trauma be impacting your relationships now?
Childhood Trauma Can Skew Your Sense of Self
Going through the proper stages of healthy childhood development is crucial to having a healthy mindset as an adult. Unfortunately, traumatic childhood experiences can negatively influence those developmental stages. Children in abusive, neglectful, or high-stress situations often develop coping mechanisms to survive, which include internalizing the messages that they receive. Once out of their distressing childhood, the things that helped them to survive will often become increasingly more painful and problematic.
The Effects Of Childhood Trauma Stem From Your Interactions
Children begin to develop a sense of self through their interactions with others. If your mom tells you that you are smart and beautiful, then you believe you are smart and beautiful. If she criticizes your intelligence and appearance, then you think you aren’t smart or beautiful. Later, peers also impact a child’s sense of self, but it all begins with the significant others in their lives. Children who have experienced trauma try to make sense of how it happened, which usually results in self-blame. “Mom wouldn’t have yelled at me if I was a better kid.” People who have experienced childhood trauma often have negative thoughts such as, “I’m not good enough,” “I’m not lovable,” “I don’t matter,” or “I am damaged.”
Managing your mental health can give you a stronger sense of self, and you don’t have to do it alone. Talking to a trauma therapist or counselor will help you to discover who you really are as you work through the effects of your trauma.
Childhood Trauma Can Affect Your Attachment Style
There are different attachment styles between parents, caregivers, and children. The healthiest and most desirable is a secure attachment style. You likely felt this as a child if you knew someone was always there for you and you had your needs met. Unfortunately, going through something traumatic may have changed your attachment style as a child to something less beneficial and healthy.
The Effects of Childhood Trauma & Anxious Attachment Styles
You could develop an anxious attachment style as a child if your parent wasn’t in tune with your emotions. As an adult, that might make you overly worried about your relationship. You might think something is always wrong, or you’re waiting for something terrible to happen.
Avoidant Attachment Style & Its Effects
On the other hand, if you grew up with an avoidant attachment style, it usually means your parents were emotionally distant. They might have ignored or rejected your needs, so you quickly learned to do things on your own. As an adult, that can make you highly independent, but that isn’t always a good thing in close relationships. You might push your partner away or fail to seek support from them, even when you really need it.
Low Self-Worth Can Be One Of The Effects Of Childhood Trauma That You Could Be Experiencing
Depending on the type of trauma you went through as a child, it can damage your self-worth. Many kids who experience trauma grow up to be adults who don’t feel good enough. Unfortunately, that can cause you to be drawn toward unhealthy or dangerous relationships. For example, you might gravitate toward someone who is emotionally or physically abusive or someone who fuels those ideas of low self-worth. So you can never grow and realize who you are.
Start Addressing the Effects of Childhood Trauma in Your Life With Trauma Therapy In Pleasanton, CA
If you experienced any kind of trauma as a child, it’s essential to know you’re not alone. You don’t have to let it control your relationships now. With trauma therapy and PTSD treatment, we can talk through the effects of childhood trauma on your life. As a Trauma Therapist, I will help you identify what is holding you back in relationships. Then you can start having relationships that are healthy, happy, and thriving. In order to get started in therapy with me follow these steps:
Contact me for more information or to set up an appointment,
Together we’ll work through the effects of your trauma
Move forward and take control of your relationships and your life
Other Counseling Services I Offer In Pleasanton, CA
As a Trauma Therapist in Pleasanton, CA I offer counseling services to help with more than just the effects of childhood trauma. Such as emotional trauma, PTSD, and CPTSD. I also offer EMDR therapy, anxiety treatment, and depression treatment. All of these services are offered throughout California with online therapy.